Monday, September 14, 2015

I don't want your Medicine Chest. Keep your Magic Beans. I want my Land.

I hope to die one day. I am not sure if that will be possible.

These are things that are said by teenagers. Punk rockers and 1 per centers. I am saying this as a 50 year old who is currently on no medication.

My goal is not to take medicine that is manufactured and I don't want any more parts cut out of me and then one day I hope to die.

This is not a joke. But I fear that it is.

No one has to right to keep me from dying. I am not sure if that will be possible. I know it is possible today to keep someone breathing and acting as though they have life long beyond that individual expresses that right. Your only hope of defining your own existence must be defined by law. You can make the necessary choices today.

But I plan on living a long time. Once that time comes. I don't know if I will have the freedom to die. I don't believe that choices made today will equal the choices I make in the future long after I am dead or whatever society defines as death.

If you think that is a joke you are a fool.

I have been adamant for years that I would not be offering any of my parts before I was out of here and I am pleased that at this point none of my children or loved ones require any of my particular parts.

Now that I am 50 I am sure that my parts may not be the best choice. But I can't say that for sure. Considering the fact that the majority of people seem to trading their humanity for pills. Not too many boys are going to be racing me to the top of the hill.

It is always easier to take your life as long as it doesn't take anyone else. I don't think my parts are that awesome. I have abused my self. I am sure. But I have always accepted that responsibility.

I have taken that responsibility with the knowledge that only myself will be harmed by myself. Sadly, I don't believe that will always be my responsibility. I fear that one day, before I am gone, that freedom will be taken away from me.

I fantasize that I will either drop dead or have the notion and head out into the bush or ice flow and deal with what no one wants to deal with.

I know that makes me weird. I don't care.

I am Metis Nation. I have seen first hand how the Medicine chest offered in treaty has turned First Nations into junkies.

I don't know the future. But I know. I don't want that.