It's about time after months of being bombarded by the media about depression and suicide.
If anything maybe we can get a break from those commercials after today. There's a bright spot. Those depression commercials are depressing. Holy Shit, I feel sad, every single time I watch that one with the lady that is all dressed up for work and she calls in sick.
That dude that is at home and his buddy can see him ignoring the phone through the picture window. Who is the sadder guy in that commercial. I think it's the guy who is outside and he doesn't have the balls to bang on the door and give his buddy a "What the Fuck, Man? I can SEE you!"
No, I am not going to make light of depression and act like people just need a good kick in the ass. Although some people need a good kick in the ass. I know depression. I know what it's like to obsess over ending it all. Day after day after day after day. I have lost friends and family to that lonely heartbreaking battle.
I remember the first great sadness in my life, black as Kubrick's monolith in my memory. It was that period that followed the collapse of our newspaper, Nativebeat and lead to almost complete nervous breakdown. The heaviest of depression lasted about three years and has returned in smaller more manageable but no less black chunks in the years since.
I had a second great run of depression that coincided with a thirsty obsession during a soul sucking period of life in Our Nations Capital. I drank a million tears that were not mine. I drank a million tears and wondered why I couldn't stop crying. I dug deep for darkness and then cursed God for making me blind.
I survived the heaviest unknowable depression in silence and with support from powers also unknown.
My second bout of depression was handled by sobering up. I went to AA for a while and that helped. I don't go there these days since I still drink. I know, by sobering up, I mean, not drinking booze like people drink coffee.
I will drink now and then but rarely to get sad. But I can't say I will never again because sometimes you need to cry like a great big baby but most times you just end up acting like one.
I am a strong supporter of marijuana although I do not know what the practical applications are regarding mental health. I do know that it will put a smile on your face. I also know that Chronics are cranky.
I do not support the overwhelming acceptance of pharmaceuticals as the quintessential treatment for depression.
I hate to get all Ron L. Hubbard on people but blindly taking whatever pill is being pushed is foolish at best, when the pill is for your mind it can be dangerous.
If it works, it works. Do whatever needs to be doing. Take as much as you need it's your say but just remember to take a look at who is getting paid.
The Mental Health industry is booming and people driven campaigns like "Let's Talk" can be exploited to get more people hooked on more drugs and become lifetime consumers. That is the sad truth.
It is the sad truths that are connected to the larger miasma of depression and mental illness that has settled over Canada.
***
I have said it before and I will say it again. If you aren't depressed you aren't paying attention.
There is a reason why and it's time for people to stand up
Throw open their windows and scream out,
"I am sad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore."
It is time to speak up but not just acknowledge the pain but seek for the truth.
There is so much that is not right. So much that makes no sense. So much that we cannot speak about. The ghosts in the many rooms of the house we now live.The Overlook Hotel had nothing like this. This feeling that we are being driven blindly towards the cliff. At best buffalo and at worst lemming.
They tear the truth from your heart and treat you like a fool
This is the journey to enlightenment for open minded Canadian youth
*
I have found sanity and joy in ceremony and in life.
I greet the sun with smile and can hug a tree until I cry.
I am blessed I know and still at times the darkness comes
and doesn't let me go until he is done.
*
Too much drinking and drugging
and hating and sulking have taken away
all you can give
Whatever it takes to get a smile on your face
If a prayer or a toke or a cry or a joke
There is only one thing I can say
The sun is shining today
And that's more
than a reason
to live
****